Goddamn I'm Lazy..

Outside of work I have been incredibly lazy lately.

I think I'm depressed about something.

Maybe I just love my bed.

It could be the fact that I can't spend any money.

I gotta get outta this rut.

Car Parts.

RHD car.

Sell some phones.

Punch some kids.

Rob some old people.

Fuck Bitches.

Get Money.

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Patrick Swayze

Unfortunately as people we really don't understand how awesome things or people can be until we lose them.

This is the case with Patrick Swayze. My Facebook lit up tonight with "R.I.P. Patrick Swayze" updates. I was sitting here thinking about some of his movies and it occurred to me that he really was an awesome entertainer. I really took him for granted. Below are some of my all time Swayze flicks..

Roadhouse - This right here is a man's movie. I mean in one scene he kicks a dude in the face THEN throws him thru a window. Amazing.

Red Dawn - Communism takes over across the globe. Commies infiltrate. The Swayze and his band of misfits take them down and take back America. Fuck it makes you proud to be an American

The Outsider's - He play's Ponyboy's older brother Darry.. Movie was filled young up and comer's but it sent a powerful message about growing up and tough and needing your friends to have your back.

Dirty Dancing - Pretty good flick. You most definitely have to have it in your collection. Why? Girls fuckin' love it and will instantly bring out the cuddle in them..

Ghost - Besides from the Epic scene with him and Demi doing work on the clay wheel that will bring any female to tears.. Revert back to my Dirty Dancing description.

POINT BREAK - EPIC EPIC EPIC. Keanu played the hero and The Swayz was the villain. Swayz was the ultimate badass villain. Let's run through his awesomeness in this movie..

1. Robs Banks wearing Dead President Masks.

2. Gun toting and Cop Blasting.

3. Surf's and Skydive's when not robbing banks. Ultimate Adrenaline Junkie.

4. Once he finds out Keanu Reeves is a cop The Swayz kidnaps his girlfriend and busts Keanu's kneecap.

5. Totally MindFuck's the shit out of Keanu while holding his GF hostage.

6. Fuckin' escapes capture from the Police and Keanu while showing Keanu respect and giving him his GF back unharmed.

7. At the end of the movie Keanu has hunted The Swayz down and you think Swayz is captured. WRONG. He convinces Keanu to let him paddle out into the Tsunami waves for the ultimate ride on his surf board one last time. Him paddling out into this giant ass fuckin' wave was just fearless and cemented in his epic badassness in that movie.. Roll Credits.. Goosebumps..

Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar - The Swayz, Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo playing drag queens from New York stuck in a small town waiting for their car to fixed. It has it cute moments, but what made it great. The Swayz beating up abusive husbands dressed as a drag queen. Fuckin' badass..

Patrick Swayze was in a ton of movies. Kicking ass, taking names, and making panties wet all across the globe. He played the action hero. He played the love interest. He played a drag queen. Put him on Saturday Night Live, partner him with the late Chris Farley and you have hands down one THE FUNNIEST snl skits ever..

Patrick Swayze - Chippendale
Uploaded by tressage. -

Good Game Mr. Swayze, Good Game Indeed..

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Why are White People So Serious??

So.. This one might offend some people..

Sunday evening I was chilling at the tattoo shop with Eddie. He was getting some touch up's done. Ron, Casey, Rachel, and Eddie were sitting over at Ron's station, I was chilling on the love seat by the front counter. Well, Stephanie one of the apprentice's at the shop was telling me about how some drunk girls stopped by not to long ago after the shop had closed wanting to use the restroom. She explained that they were closed and they couldn't use the restroom. These upstanding women decided that they would piss all over Stephanie's car. Stephanie told me about how she beat the shit out of one them and was dragging her around the parking lot by her hair as to recover some money and get an apology from her for pissing on her car. I co-signed on the activity. I mean a bitch pisses on your car she needs to catch a beatdown.

Stephanie is Asian. She's really cool ass chick, I like talking to her on Tattoo days. We have had conversation's about all kinds of things.. Ass to Mouth, Movies, Food, Books, Tattoo's.. Mostly shop talk. And around the shop she holds her own. I mean she is basically hanging out with a bunch of dudes all day..

As Stephanie and I are finishing up our convo about the dumb white bitch. She says "Sometimes you just have to punch a stupid blonde white bitch" I smiled and said.. "Sometimes a dumb white bitch needs a kick to the ribs.."

At this point all the people at the front counter (white) turned and looked at me with this crazy look of disgust. One of the tattoo artist's says "hmm, I could of sworn you were white?" Like it wasn't ok for me to make a joke about a STUPID DUMB DRUNK WHITE BITCH getting beat up for PISSING on a person's car and thinking that it was ok. I responded "I am white, that's why it's more funny. Stephanie said stupid white bitch and I ran with it." I think that dude is a little fruity anyways.. I mean he's fucking weird. I don't necessarily like him all that much..

Now all the white people are a touch uncomfortable except me. Cause you know, I don't like white people when they act like this. I just go about my business.

So the shit got me thinking..

Black man makes a "nigga" joke and society laughs.

Mexican dude makes a "beaner" joke and society laughs.

Asian cat makes a "yellow" joke and society laughs.

I could go on and on..

Vegas makes a joke about stupid fucking white bitch getting beat up and these motherfucker's look at me like I'm a terrible person.

Get the FUCK OUTTA HERE.

These STUPID FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE were acting like this bitch was all that is sacred about humanity. That a white female cannot be looked down upon, that a white female should not be "hurt."

NO ONE should ever be hurt. Man, Woman, Child, any race, color, creed, or origin. But we don't live in that world. We live in a world where there are consequences and repercussion's. Where at any given time there is enough evil in ANYONE'S soul to fuckin' murder somebody to come up in life.

So when someone tells me a story about a STUPID FUCKING WHITE BITCH pissing on a car because she thinks she is slick and thinks that she will not have to face reality. I am going to laugh. I am going to laugh so hard my fatass shakes and jiggles like jello..

Because no matter what color you are, no matter where you come from, no matter who you belong too. When you act reckless you are gonna face your moment of truth and when you do people like me don't feel bad. It's times like that help me through my day.

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Forgetting Where you Came From..

A week ago Saturday Vegas had an encounter..

I had gotten off work that evening and came to the house. When I got home I realized nobody was at the house so, I went out front to check the mail. I walked outta the front and noticed a lady walking her dog down the street. She was coming from my left and as I got to the mailbox she was coming up on me. I stepped back onto the sidewalk off the street and our path's crossed. Her dog was some sort of Lab/Shepherd mix. His hair was a chocolate color but it wasn't short, it was a medium length. I didn't think nothing of it. I'm not scared of dogs and generally most people keep their dogs in check as to not cause any problems... Nope..

She passed me. So when the dog tried to bite he was coming at my left side. He fucked up. See, I think he had been hanging out in this ladies lap to damn long and no one had told him that Vegas has the loudest bark and the meanest bite on the block. When I heard the growl I knew he was coming so I turned to my left and the dog lunged at me. I put my left forearm up to try and take the punishment. He didn't sink his teeth and for like 3 seconds his paws were on my arm and stomach and he was just standing on his hind legs.. Boy.. Did he FUCK up...

This dog didn't realize what he had gotten himself in too. You see, as a kid I had Rottweiler's and German Shepherd's. I am use to big dogs and dogs for that matter do not scare me. As he was on his hind legs and his paws were resting on my forearm and he was trying to bite I looked him square in the eyes... Then with the Ferociousness of Mike Tyson in the 80's I hit this little fucker with a right uppercut that would have knocked anything else out but, he was mad at me and wanted my throat. As he fell back a few feet he landed on his hind legs. Imagine this.. He is going to just spring right back at me without hesitation. This is an angry animal.. His instinct is to kill.. Well Vegas ain't your average and I sure as fuck ain't going out without a fight. So, I took a hard step forward with my left foot, planted it and before he could spring back at me I delivered a well placed, devastating right kick to the his face..

K.O.

You don't want it with me Bitch. This is my block. I run this motherfucker. He lands in the street and kinda limps up and looks at me. Soon as I made eye contact I realized.. I just knocked that fucker back to his day as a puppy. He was dazed, he needed some smelling salt or something. He was looking at me like I was his momma and he was trying to get a tit to suck on.. I said "I ain't your momma.. go on.."

He limped back over by his owner and layed down.

I believe he had been cooped up in the house and needed to get out some aggression. He wanted to assert his Alpha Maleness on me and show who was king. Problem with this is he forgot where he came from. He is not the dog he once was. He was a lap dog. A bitch. He lost his killer edge. He didn't realize what he was up against. He didn't realize his skills weren't sharp anymore. He didn't realize that...

It's a Dog eat Dog world out there and last time I checked I weighed in at a little over 230 and I don't go hungry..

Stay tuned tomorrow for part 2 of this story entitled "Hard Knock Life" it's about my new friend's owner and the fantasy world she lives in..

-veg