In my attempt to find my words...

I want to alienate myself. I wish I had the testicular fortitude to just say what I really wanted to say. There is so much shit going on in my mind, I can't sleep. It's not legit. It drives me crazy sometimes and all I wanna do is just post something, that just unravels people. I know I can too, I know I can abruptly turn peoples worlds on their sides, put it down and reverse it..

What should I do??

Tell me it is ok to say what I want. Regardless of the consequences..

I wanna make someone hate me, or love me, depending on you get down..

-veg

Opportunity

I was looking around online tonight at job postings. I don't have a degree or anything, I'm not very smart. I don't work hard. I'm kinda lazy but I can get things done. I'm usually not late on deadlines at work and I hit my numbers. I love to sell shit, and I'm very resilient on the sales floor.

It's no secret that I haven't had a driver's license for the past 6 years and my credit has been shit. I've been pretty gun shy about pursuing any other work related opportunities because I know that most employer's are going to run my background and credit and I never want to get my hopes about something that wouldn't come to fruition because my personal life was a wreck.

Now what most of you don't know is that I have been working to fix all of that, repair my credit, get a DL. I did, which wasn't easy because I don't make a ton of money. I sold off alot of shit, sneakers, car parts, things I like to keep, things I didn't wanna get rid of. Now I don't want yall to think that I made alot of sacrifices.. I didn't. Trips to Cabo, Concerts, mini Vacations, Cowboys games, Maverick games.. I am a do'er. If the opportunity arises for me to enjoy life I do it.

To me, it's pretty awesome that I'm sitting here... Credit fixed. Driver's License. Having these things has me smiling. Like Mad Cheeseface because I know I can make moves, up, down, left, right, A, B, A, C, A BB.. (<--- If you don't know, that's the blood code for Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis. If you don't believe me GOOGLE that shit B..)

I will be looking for a new job, not super aggressively, but I know I'm much more than a 30K a year millionaire. My resume' is not terrible. I have some nice references and I want more. I want a lot more. I feel rejuvenated. I have the same feeling I had when I was a kid and my Mom told me I couldn't always have what I want, but IF I tried, I just might find, I get what I need.

My name is Vegas, and I'm here to fuck shit up..

;-)

Blogging

In a conscious effort to really move away from my facebook I really want to start blogging more often. The problem with this is I feel like I have to out do myself with every blog I post. Usually my blog posts are bragadocious (sp) or angry. I don't know if you all know this but I'm not that angry and hateful. lol. I'm not very confrontational and I sure as hell ain't cute.

So, I am going to try and post something every day or two, it might just be a story or a "day in the life of Vegas" type shit. It might be something happy or awesome. I don't know. All I know is everyday I have a ton of emotion that runs through me and I need to find a better way of channeling it.

This weekend, between my phone kinda fucking up and me just really being anti social I didn't really do shit. Rode with B.B. Goodenoughe back to east Tejas today to take Nephew back. Copped some In N Out and watched some standup.. Oh and Me and B Bot Tite got into some gangster shit, had some cops following us.. llolololol..

I'm out..

P.S. Beretta did that shit..

-vegas

Mindgames..

I was plotting all day on what I wanted to do when I got off work. Since it's the weekend and everything I was kinda hyped about doing something, but in the back of my mind I knew I needed to save some cash so I might just stay in cause I knew Nephew was gonna be around tonight..

I had an invite earlier in the day to hangout with a friend at the pool. Considering we live in Tejas and it's hot outside. I knew there would be some serious eye candy at the pool and most definitely some flirting in my future I could see so, I was really feeling that idea, but I kept getting tied up at work and wasn't able to pull the great escape that I wanted too. I didn't hear from friend most of the day, and when I got off, they didn't seem to interested in hanging out anymore so when I heard Nephew bust through the backdoor..

It was on like mufkin Donkey Tron.

I'm kickin' it around the house, picking up my room, letting Nephew get settled in. I hear the Big Wheel power up and he's cruising it down the hall.. "Begas, wher our you Begas?" I'm watching TV on the couch and Nephew rolls hard into the living and is heading straight for the fireplace..

So I'm thinking to myself is Nephew really just gonna drive into the fireplace, is he thinking about logs, and fire? What's his move? He runs right in the fireplace full throttle, of course it's a Big Wheel so there is no harm, no foul. Nephew is laughing his ass off. "HEHEHEHEHEH BEGAS, HEHEHE LOOOOKKK" He's spinning the back wheels cause he is pinned up against the fireplace..

This is when I get mindfucked by a 3yr old.

Vegas - "Boy, what you doing?" (Uncle tone)

Nephew - "Why?"

Vegas - "What?"

Nephew - "Why Begas? Why?"

Vegas - "What? Why What?"

Nephew - "Why? Why Begas?"

Vegas - "Bruh, your fuckin me up right now"

Nephew - "Tickle, tickle Begas, I'm gon' tickle yooouuu"

He knows he got me. I'm sitting there confused as fuck, this 3yr old tickling me like I'm a baby. I can't help it, I'm gigglesaurus rex. Don't know what to do. So I scoop him up. Tickle him a little bit, set him down and then retreat to my room. Mindfucked.

Nephew - 1

"Begas" - 0

Riding Dirty

So..

I pull outta work tonight and I'm heading north on Jupiter. Windows down. Radio up. I'm cruising 40mph which is the posted speed limit, minding my own. I see some headlights in the turn lane in front of me and I'm not thinking anything of it, but as I pass by I notice it's the police. A white Dodge Charger with a blue stripe.. It's Richardson PD. Some of you reading this might not know the feeling I'm bout to describe cause you know.. Your white or on some too goodie 2 shoes, hall monitor type shit..

But..

My

Heart

Drops...

Because he flips on me.. I'm thinking I'm bout to get pulled over. I turn the radio down, grip my steering wheel and check my mirrors..

My heart is beating pretty quick and I'm running scenario's through my mind and just as a bead of sweat starts to form on my brow...... It hits me, like a Rock Bottom from Dwayne Johnson...

I'm driving my new '05 Acura TL, that's in my name.

It's Insured.

I have a Driver's License.

I don't need a scenario or an excuse or a mothafuckin' thing. I am a goddamn normal fucktioning member of society..

So as he passes me on the driver's side, with my window's down he sees me and I'm smiling, I'm smiling like I just got some fresh uncharted pussy. You know that feeling, that feeling of success. As he stares me down, I throw one finger off the steering wheel. Not two fingers, one finger, and when he gives me a waive back I start laughing cause I sure as fuck ain't wearing my safe belt..

Fuck you cop. I'm still riding dirty..

LOLOLOL..

-veg

Offensive Comment

Earlier, I posted on Facebook about how I wanted to be offensive.

"I personally feel that the Bible is a book of stories written by people in a position of power to incite fear and scare people into doing what they wanted them to do. I read some of these stories and my rational mind tells me to call bullshit. To me it just screams, enslavement and fear. Now I don't want to come off as only having this opinion about the Bible. There are stories full of positive things.. Over coming adversity, Striving to do the right thing, and showing people how to live a good life.. Honestly though, I feel that to many people put to much stock in this book.."

-veg

My Cell Phone is Ruining my Life.

I gotta rant.. Pay attention..

So, earlier this week, my kinda girlfriend, but not really but were still kinda dating, bff told me I was a little obsessed. Honestly, I'm not obsessed with her. I'm obsessed with the connectivity. Facebook, Text, Phone Calls. I pick my phone up every 2 minutes to see if I missed anything. It dawned on me today. I need to take a step back.

Izzystacks tells me she needs to take a day and I freak out, cause my phone isn't beeping at me. Think about it. 10 years ago when I was dating Regina, if I didn't talk to her for a day it was no thing. 5 years ago when I was talking to Cecily, if we didn't text one day it wasn't shit. Life went on, there was no freak out. Today, if the girl I like needs to take a day, I'm all over facebook, checking for texts, waiting on a text back.. Shit is ridiculous. I hate my goddamn phone.

I always tell people about the kid at my store one day trying to get his mom to get him a phone he can text on. She doesn't want to and this kid is like "Mom, how am I gonna talk to girls? Sir, please tell my mom I need texting.." I responded with "Man, when I was in high school, I had to call a girl on her home phone, get through the mom, dad, brother and sister before I could get her on the phone..."

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?!?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ALL OF US?!?!?!

I'm not the only one that does this, Izzy will deny this till she dies but there have been moments where my phone has blown up cause I was asleep or at the gym. We all do it. It's so goddamn bad, I personally know people that are fucking miserable cause of shit that gets posted on Facebook. Fucking Facebook, fuck Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Savrin.

I'm here to tell you, it's gonna be ok, don't freakout. My birthday is Sunday and I'm turning 29. I can't think of a reason as to why I should worry myself over a goddamn facebook post, or a day without speaking to someone.

Our cell phones, facebooks, twitters, text messages, picture messages are killing us, they are making us insecure, anxious, angry, and frustrated. They are leaving us with trust issues and making us vulnerable to bullshit, over analyzing every post and text, every picture.

I'm tired, I'm taking back to the late 90's, when I didn't have a phone or a pot to piss in.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Izzy sent me a picture of her wearing a tiara, she looked adorable, I'm waiting on a response..

-Vegas