My Cock and a Urinal Cake.

Touch, feel, grab, taste, smell.. We use our senses to learn what will hurt, what is ok to touch and what can potentially fuck us up.

I like to think that I am one of the fortunate few who pick things up quicker than your average person. I take mental notes, I'm great with directions, I can remember phone numbers, I have a quick wit, and I have keen observation skills. Partner these traits with my life experiences and I usually have the right advice, opinion or story that can help guide you in the right direction..

Now, I'm gonna need yall to take notes..

Tonight, after watching episode 2 of season 3 of True Blood at BG's crib I had to go number 2. Now as you all know I moved outta BG's house, but him and B-Ho are my fuckin' brothers, so you know.. I hit the bathroom to take a fresh dook. Since I moved out though, Haylee moved in, she now shares the bathroom with B-Ho. The bathroom is alot cleaner, especially the toilet. Haylee hung a urinal patty right in the front of the toilet. With the lid down, I didn't notice the urinal pain inflictor.

I scope out the magazine collection, choosing some prime reading material to read while I dook, I sit down start dropping turd nuggets and am enjoying the article in the Hustler mag B-Ho has in the bathroom when...

MY DICK IS BURNING LIKE I FUCKED 3 WHORES WITH NO RUBBER THAT HAD FUCKED CHACE RAINS.

I'm starting to panic, put yourself in my position. I'm mid dook, my dick is burning and if I stand up I run the risk of shitting on the floor. Vegas, not one to ever let panic get the best of him in a crazy situation does keeps it 100.. Cool, Calm and Collected.

I tell myself..

Focus.

Finish the dook.

Wipe.

Flush.

Shuffle to the sink, and rinse the urinal patty residue off your dick.

Let me tell yall.. Having your cock come to rest on a Urinal Patty is fucking painful. It was like dipping it in gasoline or bleach.

Ladies, please. DO NOT PUT THE URINAL PATTY IN THE FRONT OF THE TOILET WITH THE SEAT DOWN. Even though the dude might just be a guest in your house, you don't want it to happen to the guy your fucking, cause yall sure as hell won't be fucking, and you might get a mouthful of toilet if you try and blow him.

Fellas, heed my warning, don't let it happen to you. Keep your game tight, lift the toilet seat and check for anything that can potentially burn your dick up..

-Vegas