Today I'm at work and I have to goto the bathroom. I'm not talking about number 1. I'm talking about the big one, el numero dos... So, I'm holding it and holding it 'cause I hate going to the bathroom at work, but finally it happens. The bottom falls out and I gotta make way up to the restrooms to drop timber's..
I hit the restroom and scope out the scenery. I find the toilet that is gonna be the victim of my bubbly stomach. Lock the stall door and proceed to start handling my business. I am sitting there playing texas hold 'em on my Blackberry when this kid is just acting like a fucking idiot in the restroom. He's screamin' at his dad about something, they're arguing back and forth and what not. So I'm sitting thinking "somebody needs to give this kid a whooping" 'cause lord knows when I was a young'n I woulda got my head broken.
All of sudden some shit pops off, this kid is screamin' and doesn't want to do something when outta nowhere this little motherfucker tries to dive underneath my stall door to hide from the pops. At this moment I am thinking 2 things..
1. This motherfucker is tryna snatch the crumbs out my wallet.
2. My cock is exposed. I mean, I'm still shitting, and this little fuck is looking right at me.
So, I do what I hope any grown man would in my situation..
I kick the fuck outta that little motherfucker. I put my size 10 and 1/2 all up in his ribs and shoulder a couple of times. That little fuck needs to learn a lesson...
You DO NOT act like a fucking idiot in public.
Well, it dawns on my that I just kicked the fuck out of him and he's like 8 or 9. Then his dad grabs his ankle and drags his ass back out into the wonderful atmosphere that is the men's restroom and proceeds to give him a good ole American spanking. Like the kinda whooping I woulda got when I was a kid.
I wipe my ass, tuck in my shirt, thoroughly wash my hands, and cruise back to work with a smile on my face..
-veg
